10 Types of Massage Clients In Metro Manila

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Spas and massage parlors can be wonderful places of peace, quiet, and relaxation. For clients that is. But for massage therapists, their workplace can get pretty weird and stressful sometimes. Because let’s face it, the people that go through their doors aren’t always ideal clients.

From the loud groaners, to the non-tippers, to the those who are looking for a happy ending, here are ten types of clients that massage therapists have to deal with. Fess up and tell us which one you are!

1. The Moaning Myrtle

Amidst the tranquility of the spa, this person will break the silence with their moans and groans, induced either by pain or pleasure.

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Maybe they don’t have enough self awareness to realize that they’re making weird sounds or maybe they simply don’t care what other people think.

Some serious spa music would be helpful if you want to drown their noises out!

2. The Sleeping Beauty

The moment this person lies down, they’re out like a light. Which makes you wonder why they’re paying for a massage in the first place if they’re just going to be unconscious for it.

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They’ll be asleep while the massage therapist stands on top of them, trying to get the knots out with their feet. They might even be asleep while they’re being stretched out in different directions!

Sleeping Beauties are harmless, unless they’re loud snorers. Then they’re annoying.

3. The Wormtongue

This is the type of person that tips in the form of flattery instead of cash. They might actually be worse than those who don’t tip altogether.

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They’ll be praising their massage therapist to high heavens, all the while slowly inching their way out the door, hoping no one will notice hat they didn’t leave any money.

Don’t be this person. Just don’t.

4. The Sensitive Soul

For the sensitive guy or girl, getting a massage is like getting beaten up. Every stroke will have them wincing in pain.

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But their low pain threshold isn’t just a problem for them, It’s a pain in the neck for their massage therapist too. It’s basically like dealing with an injured baby bird.

If you’re this person, shiatsu and Thai massages are definitely not for you!

5. The Rocky Balboa

For this one, there’s no deep tissue massage that’s deep enough. The total opposite of the Sensitive Soul, the Rocky Balboa lives for pain.

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As a masochist, they’ll go for the most intense massage out there and it still won’t cut it. The most heavyweight massage therapist needs to be brought out for this one!

If you’re this person, inside the boxing ring is probably where you need to be.

6. The Laughing Hyena

Every touch will send this person into a laughing spree because they’re extremely ticklish. They’re possibly the most annoying client for massage therapists.

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You can’t touch their arms. You can’t touch their feet. And you can most certainly forget about touching their back. They’re ticklish everywhere!

If you can relate, how about just staying away from massage parlors altogether, yes?

7. The Problematic Patient

This is the type of client that mistakes their massage therapist for a clinical therapist. And their massage therapist has no other choice but to listen to them.

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This person will keep on talking about their big life problems and by the end of the session, their massage therapist will be privy to things they never signed up for.

For the Problematice Patient, maybe unload somewhere else first before your massage?

8. The Awkward Turtle

A lot of embarrassing things can happen at the spa, most especially if you’re an awkward first timer who has no idea what to expect.

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Having to strip naked, worrying about your unshaven legs and pits, trying to keep your granny panties from showing…These are all reasonable causes of awkward, uncomfortable situations.

So maybe it’s safe to say that we’ve all been the awkward turtle at one point or the other?

9. The Happy Finisher

While most of us go to the spa to destress, there are some people who want more than just a relaxing time. They want a happy ending.

Happy Ending

There are places out there that offer “special massages” but don’t make the mistake of thinking that they all do. Most massage parlors work hard to maintain a clean reputation and you might just get thrown out if you ask for more!

10. The Ideal Client

Just like anyone else who’s working in the service industry, what massage therapists want more than anything from their clients is respect.

Respect Meme

You’re the ideal client if you treat them as professionals, don’t overstep your boundaries, and understand that you’re not always right.

Of course, generous tips always help too!

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About Author

Denise Jose

Denise is a recovering food addict. She distracts herself with photography and keeps off the pounds by doing pilates. She is still struggling, however, and has occasional relapses. Her food comas are mostly induced by oily burgers and chocolate desserts.