Hilarious Filipino Phrases Used In Restaurant Reviews To Describe The Food

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Part of the challenge looloo reviewers face when writing about their restaurant experience is coming up with creative food descriptions. But when putting words together prove to be difficult, who says it’s a bad idea to take the simpler route and compare it to something more familiar to your readers?

It doesn’t matter if you’re comparing it to something that’s not even food. The important thing is that they understand (maybe) what you’re trying to say.

Today, we went through looloo reviews and comments to find some of the most hilarious words that looloo reviewers have used to describe their food! If anything, this list may even expand your vocabulary when describing what you’re eating.

1. Lasang Paa / Lasang Medyas

Used to describe tea or sometimes an innocent bowl of noodles, it’s possible that these reviewers have at one point, actually tried to sample their own feet.

For fans of the classic TV show, Friends, this description reminds us of how Ross Geller described Rachel Green’s “delicious” Trifle Pie:

Tastes Like Feet

2. Lasang Halaman / Lasang Damo

Any dish that’s “vegetably”, like salads or pastas with copious amounts of greens, seems to deserve this phrase. Mostly used by vegetable haters, we think it’s spot-on considering that vegetables are actually plants.

3. Lasang Lupa / Lasang Matanda

This is most likely the Filipino version of food that in English, has an “earthy flavor.” Describing food as something that tastes like soil makes sense to describe root crops or perhaps even tea. But comparing it to an old person? Whuuut.

Lasang Lupa

4. Lasang Gamot / Lasang Tempra

Either these reviewers still take Tempra for their fever or their childhood memory of taking it is so strong, they can still taste it. As for “lasang gamot,” reviewers have been using it to describe a wide range of food items like fried chicken, fruit shakes, and even cronuts!

Lasang Tempra

5. Lasang Anting-Anting

Okay this is too weird. We can’t even.

Lasang Anting Anting

Seriously though, is there anyone out there who has any idea how anting-anting even tastes like?

6. Lasang Ipis

Unless you’re an exotic food fan, we don’t think you’ve ever tried to intentionally eat a random crawling cockroach so we’re not exactly sure how something can taste like ipis. In case you’re wondering, this phrase has been used on looloo to describe onion rings and (once again) noodles. Poor noodles.

Lasang Ipis

7. Lasang Agnas / Lasang Amag

First of all, agnas isn’t even anything that you can taste! Although if we look at it closely, agnas in English means to decompose. So this may be an alternative word to describe something that tastes old or bulok, which is how anything with mold (or amag) would taste like.

Cheese lovers will be disappointed to find out that this phrase has been used mainly to describe blue cheese and gorgonzola. To cheese-n00bs though, it’s a pretty accurate description.

Gorgonzola Cheese

Photo from bbc.co.uk

8. Lasang Kili-Kili / Lasang Surot

We’ve found that anything that has cumin or cilantro is described this way by some looloo reviewers. Both have pretty strong flavors that can conjure up memories of no-deodorant days. Comparing it to surot (bed bugs) though is definitely less common. That, and we personally don’t know anyone who’s ever snacked on bed bugs.

Lasang Kili-Kili

You may hate cilantro now simply because it’s in your genes. But the good news is, it’s something you can get used to! Maybe adding some Rexona next time will help? Hehehe.

9. Lasang Altar / Lasang Lamay / Lasang Kandila

Lasang lamay has got to be the weirdest one of them all. It’s completely understandable how anything that has flowers as part of its ingredients (like Rose Milk Tea) can be described as lasang altar, lasang bulaklak or lasang kandila but….lasang lamay?!

Lasang Lamay

10. Lasang Pasko

They say scent is a powerful memory trigger but for people who love food, it’s gotta go beyond just the smell. Give people puto bumbong or quezo de bola and they will be reminded of Christmas. But for some looloo reviewers, sometimes, it could anything flavored with peppermint or cinnamon. Maybe the Starbucks Christmas drinks have something to do with this? Doesn’t matter though. If we can be reminded of Christmas in the middle of this summer heat, we’ll take it!

Starbucks Christmas Drinks

Do any of these words sound familiar to you? Or maybe you’ve heard of other hilarious or even stranger descriptions before? Let us know in the comments section!

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About Author

Peanut Dela Cruz

A picky eater living vicariously through other people’s looloo reviews, she is either thinking of food or eating. Her hobbies include finding new places to eat and occasionally responding to spam text messages.