Up on a mountain, you’ll find nature, peace and quiet, and a great view. But before you get to the top, you’re bound to encounter some pretty interesting personalities first.
Hiking can bring out some funny quirks in people so the next time you’re on a mountain excursion, observe your fellow hikers and be entertained!
Spot these ten types of people, including the one who seems to be carrying their entire house on their back, the one who missed the memo on proper hiking attire, or the one who’s super fashown.
1. The Human Compass
At the front of every hiking group is a Human Compass (aka Kuya Tour Guide) leading the way. They know the long cuts and the short cuts, the scenic routes and the shaded pathways. They even know exactly which rocks you should step on and where the best picture taking spots are!
If you’re smart, you’ll do your best to stick as close as you can to your Human Compass. But if it does happen that you lose sight of him and your groupmates, the best thing to do is to stay put and stay calm. Chances are, there are other Human Compasses nearby that can help you out.
2. The Speed Climber
Confident in their physical ability, the Speed Climber has no problem zooming past everyone. While their friends are nearly crawling on the ground, they’re hopping from one rock to another like some kind of a baby goat. Needless to say, they do not need to take breaks along the way.
If you’re with a Speed Climber and you’re low key jealous of their agility, don’t be. Just think of all the group selfies they’re missing out on as well as all the inside jokes they won’t be able to get because they went ahead of everyone!
3. The Walking Dead
If you didn’t know this person, you’d think they were auditioning as a zombie for The Walking Dead. They’re breathing real heavy, their eyes are glazed over, and they’re walking with some sort of a limp. But really, they’re just *very* exhausted so you should probably help them out.
The best way to encourage the Walking Dead is to match your pace with theirs. This way, they won’t feel like they’ve fallen too far behind. Or if they really need a break, stop for a second and let them breathe. Giving them some water and snacks might help too!
4. The Weightlifting Fairy
One of the best things you can do for yourself when you’re about to climb a mountain is to pack light. But the Weightlifting Fairy will do the opposite and bring their whole house with them. Their huge bag will weigh them down by ten pounds but they’ll pretend that it doesn’t bother them.
If you have a Weightlifting Fairy in the group, all your mountain climbing needs are probably covered. They’ll have speakers for you to play music on, snacks for you to munch on, and a first aid kit in case you get a boo boo.
5. The Walking Fashion Ad
The last thing people have on their minds while they’re dragging themselves up a mountain is if they look good. But for the Walking Fashion Ad, their number one concern is how they can be mountain-ready but still cute AF. Think Kendall Jenner post-gym workout.
While everyone’s clad in old tees and ratty leggings, the Walking Fashion Ad will be rocking Lululemon yoga pants, an Ivy Park tank top, sunglasses, and maybe even a scarf around their neck. At least they’ll look fly if they bump into their ex or their worst enemy, right?!
6. The Fashionably Challenged
If the Walking Fashion Ad knows exactly how they want to look, the Fashionably Challenged has no clue how to dress themselves for the climb. Don’t judge them too harshly though because it’s probably their first time on a mountain, hence their inappropriate attire.
If you see someone sporting full-length jeans and boat shoes while carrying an umbrella around, you know you’ve spotted this person. The climb will be one tough lesson for them because we all know denim and sweat do not mix well!
7. The Motormouth
Like how a mosquito would pester you with its constant buzzing, the Motormouth will talk your ear off for the entire duration of the climb. While you’re there trying to appreciate the sounds of nature, they’ll be yapping on about their love life or how cute their dog is.
While the Motormouth may come off as annoying, you could look at the bright side and think of their stories as a distraction from the exhaustion you’re feeling. But if you really want to block them out, put on some headphones and hopefully they’ll get the message.
8. The Silent Trekker
The total opposite of the Motormouth, you won’t hear a peep from the Silent Trekker while you’re en route to the peak of the mountain. Which will make you wonder…are they ok?! Are they having fun? Or are they secretly petrified?
If you’re with a Silent Trekker, the best way to know how they’re feeling is simply to ask. Maybe they’re actually just concentrating real hard on the trail and they’ve forgotten that they can smile, talk, and laugh while they’re at it.
9. The Vain Daredevil
The Vain Daredevil may not necessarily like spending time outdoors. But because they want to post cool pictures of themselves having fun on a mountain, they’ll haul themselves up Mt. Pulag and endure the cold if it means getting that money shot. Gotta do it for the gram!
You’ll find the Vain Daredevil balancing on top of a boulder, striking a pose on the edge of a cliff, or doing a jump shot at the peak. If you are this person, just make sure you’re not risking your life for likes!
10. The Polite Stranger
In the Philippines, it’s not very often that a stranger would greet you a good morning and vice versa. But if there’s anywhere in the country where it’s not as weird to be polite to people you don’t know, it’s on a mountain! It’s probably the trekkers’ proximity to each other that ‘forces’ them to be friendly.
If you come across a Polite Stranger along the way, they might greet you with a “Magandang umaga po” or “Ingat po kayo”. Keep the camaraderie going and greet them back!