Buffet restaurants: where Filipinos celebrate their love of food and loose-fitting pants, and where diet plans are as short-lived as Taylor Swift’s relationships.
Whether it’s an upscale hotel buffet, or your nearby Korean/Japanese smokeless grill, the chances of you finding an empty buffet restaurant during lunch or dinner are slim.
Sure you’re there to stuff your face as much as you want, but also, buffet restaurants are excellent venues for people-watching!
Here are 7 common personalities you’ll bump into at an all-you-can-eat buffet:
Buffet Restaurant Personality #1: The Takaw Tingin￼
The Takaw Tingin is easy to spot in a crowd. Look for the person moving the slowest because he’s trying not to spill anything from his overflowing plate of food.
The Takaw Tingin is easily drawn to newly-refilled food trays, and grossly overestimates his stomach capacity. Evidence of Takaw Tingin visits may also be found once they’ve left, as you’ll often find half-eaten servings of food on their plates, some even end up nonchalantly kicking food under their tables and hiding them under napkins… all to avoid the leftover food penalty.
Buffet Restaurant Personality #2: The Desserts-First
To the Desserts-First, the sweets ARE the main course.
While everyone else is filling up on sushi, steaks, and pizza, this buffet diner is in line for a second round of ice cream and cheesecake. Early on in the evening, it’s easy to spot the Desserts-First diner — he or she will be the only one in the sweets corner while everyone else is going for appetizers. By the end of the night, you’ll find them half-asleep in their booths, crashing from the massive sugar rush from 15 minutes earlier.
Buffet Restaurant Personality #3: The Hoarder
Hoarders are particularly easy to find at Japanese buffet restaurants. Where? At the shrimp tempura station where she shamelessly scoops up at least 10 shrimps as soon as the fresh batch is placed in the basket. Hoarders gather around the sashimi station pretty often too. A great skill of theirs is being able to pick up 20 pieces of salmon sashimi with those tiny little tongs.
Buffet Restaurant Personality #4: The Birthday Celebrant
At buffet restaurants where birthday celebrants get to eat for free, you’ll probably hear the damn birthday song at least 10x in one evening.
When you hear the music starting, look for the waiters with guitars and a tambourine, the Birthday Celebrant will usually be at the head of table, burying his face in his palms out of shame. Does anyone ever really enjoy having the entire place staring at you? Is that free half slice of cake really worth it?
EDIT: Commenters are right, they’re probably eating for free, AND it’s their birthday, so who cares!
Buffet Personality #5: The Lugi
You’ll only find The Lugi at a buffet restaurant during major family celebrations, there’s usually at least one of them at the table of the earlier mentioned Birthday Celebrant.
Cursed with the tiniest of stomachs, the Lugi will calmly eat one plate of food at most, and never regrets passing on a dish. Sometimes you’ll find him resigning to the role of designated driver after dinner, while everyone else slips into food comas on the way home.
Buffet Personality #6: The “Strategic” Buffet Diner
With the idea that meats are probably the most expensive dishes at a buffet, the Strategic Buffet Diner will try to stretch his budget as much as he can, skipping on anything that has rice or pasta, and going straight for the steaks and seafoods. Some will insist that they’re on some sort of diet, but we think otherwise. Nag-buffet ka pa!
Buffet Personality #7: The Daily Deal Diner
The daily deal diner is probably the shrewdest of the bunch. With lightning fast mouse-clicking skills, he/she is able to score and store daily deal meal vouchers to even the most expensive hotel buffets out there. Most people walk away happy from a buffet, but the Daily Deal Diners’ smiles are often twice as wide as most — they just paid half of what everyone else did.
I bet that while reading this, a friend you know came to mind for each of the mentioned personalities. Are you one of them? Perhaps you’re a hybrid! A Daily Deal Lugi? A Dessert Hoarder?
Check out some of the most-reviewed and top-rated buffet restaurants on looloo:
- Cafe Ilang-Ilang
- Circles Event Cafe
- Buffet 101
- Marriott Cafe
- Seven Corners
- Chef Laudico Guevarra’s